Friday, April 10, 2020

Nick’s Badass Truck

Were Nick a believer he'da said,
out loud,
Thank God for the truck!
He would'a said it were someone in the truck
with him, someone who knew he attended church
religiously.

Alas, germ-panicked social-distancing prohibited
passengers, and, if nothing else, Nick
felt obligated to keep up the appearance
of abidance—even to the extent
of forbidding the wife of his richest client
from nesting her sensational ass
on its obscenely accommodating
Moroccan leather
seat.

And with the panic postponing not only
court sessions
but client visits to his office, as well,
no way would he display himself
prancing on Main Street with some pussy
mask--

at least not until the Darth Vader silk one
he’d ordered from Amazon TWO WEEKS AGO
came.
Meanwhile,
all he had left with which to reassure himself
of his indisputable superiority
over every other living creature on Earth...well,
save of course Judge Cornwallis,
was
the truck.

The truck he took in lieu of his kick-ass fee
for getting Robbie Bob Bidet’s capital
murder charge
reduced to involuntary manslaughter--
yuk yuk--
was a kick-ass toy for this big
boy.

Power stroke ‘06 Diesel Bomber without
a muffler, so dayum loud, Robbie Bob said,
yew kin heah me shift into sixth a couple miles
down the road... n’ when ah pass someone, n’
ahm doin’ 2400 rpms n’ mah tailpipe hits theah
doh’ they gon’ shit theah britches, Mr. Nick!

Inside now, behind the darkened windows,
he changes into his Kerouac lumberjack Carhartt
shirt, with the scarlet MAGA cap concealing his
signature slicked-back thinning
grease-soaked hair, and breathes deeply,
checks his lips in the mirror for signs of blue,
breathes deeply
turns the ignition
pumps the gas…ignition...again...

SHIT!

                                                                                                         m.d. paust

4 comments:

  1. What happened to him? Sorry Matt but you lost me there at the last line.

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    Replies
    1. Engine wouldn't start, Neeru. Flooded probably--horrible blow to his imperious ego. ;)

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    2. I strengthened it a tad at the end. Read it a few more times and recognized the need. Many thanks for pointing it out, Neeru!

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    3. Ah yes! Now it makes sense. BTW, the description of the wife of his richest client reminded me of a dialogue uttered by a totally OTT Al Pacino in the movie Heat. Have you seen it?

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