Channeling Mom Nature

First of all, Mr. Paust, let us establish

some ground rules--actually only one, unless

you have a suggestion, and are

feeling exceptionally brave…

No? Good. Then here is mine: do NOT call me Mom!

Perhaps in softer times I could let that familiarity

slide by, as I am not always the harridan I realize

I’m sounding like today. It’s just that, as you might

have guessed, I AM PISSSED! (What? Three esses

and an exclamation point? Have I shaken you

that much? Wait! I see your cursor moving up to

the title. Leave it alone! Leave it for wimpy readers

whom Mother intimidates, thinking probably of

The Manchurian Candidate and one of my favorite

actors, Angela, which I—oh, for the love of...never mind.

Close the damned parentheses already!) Thank you. See?

I can be polite. Unlike the bulk of you ungrateful

hominids, WHO ARE DESTROYING THIS BEAUTIFUL

FRAGILE PLANET!! That’s better, but the redundant

emphasis, the two...oh, why did I ever summon you

for this? Man up! Just listen, hear? Listen, and take down

every word without trying to interpret! You don’t want me

to lose my patience! You know what I can do! The dinosaurs?

Got too big for their own good, ravaging Earth with their

monstrous appetites. Always eating eating eating. Everything

that grew. And bullied and ate and scared the bejeebies

out of each other and all my other creatures trying to evolve

into what I’d hoped would become a spiritually oriented

hybrid that would truly appreciate me and all of my babies

and take care of them for me, sort of be my surrogate,

learn to read and write and sing and play the trombone

and memorize poetry and…a-and love (put that in upper

case)...LOVE one another and be good stewards and

not be agents of extinction and—remember squab?--

but NOOOOO, you have to turn into selfish, greedy…

(I almost said animals) cowardly...oh, use your imagination).

and here's a tip for those of you who have read this far,
and who want to survive my latest challenge--you do
don't you?

Then WASH YOUR HANDS!!!

– Mother

                                                                                                                     m.d. paust

[This poem was inspired by a post on my friend Neeru's blog, A Hot Cup of Pleasure.]