[Precautionary
boilerplate: Highly refined readers should be aware this report aims a
tad lower than optimum on the aesthetic spectrum. It is advised that
readers even vaguely uncertain of their Joycean Taste Grade quotient proceed
with at least a modicum of carefully measured insouciant caution.
Thank you.]
I am
fully aware of the risk I'm taking here, revealing my marginal
literary sensibility by writing about Victor Gischler's The
Pistol Poets.
“Marginal” my foot, for sure some are thinking. And I did come close to rupturing various vitals laughing at the crude,
quirky, frat-boy goings on in this satirically farcical look at an
amalgam of gratuitous violence, incessant insobriety, and startling
poetics in the presumably idyllic setting of hick-town Okie academia.
Sporadic
appreciative sputters continued to diesel thru my larynx next morning
on my constitutional walk up and down Main Street as I paid homage to
various scenes from this the second of a raft of novels by former
English professor Victor Gischler. I would hope the “former” is a
reward for his success as a novelist and not punishment for making
fun of a milieu that suffers gangsters, poets and drunken English
professors. And I perhaps am fortunate not to be posting this report
from the recreation room at Happy Daze Rest Home while undergoing
observation for reports of unseemly public behavior.
At
the same time I nurse a very real, burgeoning anxiety that should my
indispensable literary advisor Fictionaut's Kitty Boots happen to
stumble upon and read this report she is more than apt to throw her
arms up in dismay and discharge me as a client. As I mentioned above,
this is for me a risky undertaking--the more alarmingly risky, it's
becoming apparent, the more I worry.
But
dammit, I love this book, and I shall defend it against all comers,
starting with the amateur "reviewers" on Amazon who panned
it.
This
from Suzanne Graden:
The
biggest twist was the location of East St. Louis. Last time I checked
it was in Illinois not Missouri. After I read the error in the
location I lost interest in the book. [An
East St. Louis cab driver mugged me when I was drunk on a weekend
pass from Ft. Leonard Wood (Missouri) some years back. I didn't give
a rat's ass what state we were in--still don't. Nor has the rare
brain fart ever bothered me.]
"mmk"
says:
This
is a terrible book - badly, written, crude, uninteresting and simply
a waste of time. I hung in there through about 75% of it before
finally giving up.
If you're a horny adolescent male who loves chase scenes and guns, knock yourself out. [Safe to assume you are not a horny adolescent male, etc. Alas, my adolescent days today are but a misty dream, yet I know for certain I'd have missed completely the sly ironies and cleverly entendered nuances in The Pistol Poets back then. Dr. Freud lifts an eyebrow and asks: Do you frequently read novels you loathe?]
If you're a horny adolescent male who loves chase scenes and guns, knock yourself out. [Safe to assume you are not a horny adolescent male, etc. Alas, my adolescent days today are but a misty dream, yet I know for certain I'd have missed completely the sly ironies and cleverly entendered nuances in The Pistol Poets back then. Dr. Freud lifts an eyebrow and asks: Do you frequently read novels you loathe?]
"Kindle
Customer" suggests: I
don't know how I finished this book-but for a author that teaches
creative writing this was one that should have been buried.
[Yet you finished the book. Dr. Freud weeps with joy.]
There
are more. Had I read any of them before buying The
Pistol Poets,
I'd only have been the more intrigued.
Several
years ago an English professor friend recommended Gischler's work to
me, particularly his first two novels: Gun
Monkeys
and The
Pistol Poets.
I read Edgar-nominated Gun
Monkeys
first. My recollection is that I liked it, but I can't recall
anything about it. Not sure why or how, but I lost track of The
Pistol Poets.
Possibly my interests drifted from the genre, or maybe I packed the
book for a move and didn't unpack it—something I'm notorious for.
Picked it out of a pile the other day when both of my laptops were in
the shop and I needed something to read to keep from going berserk.
Hooked by the second chapter when an East St. Louis street thug
steals a dead victim's papers that indicate the victim has a graduate
scholarship to study poetry at the aforementioned hick-town Oklahoma college. Thug
decides then and there to turn his life around. He makes off with the gym bag full of cocaine he's supposed to be selling for his boss, (big bad) Red Zach, and heads for “Fumbee”,
OK.
I'm
not full-bore laughing quite yet but there are preliminary snickers,
and I can feel the chortles building as I try to imagine the thug,
Harold Jenks, participating in a poetry seminar in any
school setting. He lands in Jay Morgan's classroom the same day
Morgan awakes with a blinding hangover to find one of his students
dead in his bed. He assumes he picked her up at a typical campus
party the night before. The plot has thickened by now, but the
chortles are still only gathering subliminal force.
Gischler with hair |
[Poetry
break]
Pressed
for time, Jenks, using the victim's name, Sherman Ellis, had taken
his first verse from a greeting card, and met with derision when he
read it to the class. This one he wrote himself:
I
was cruising the hood in my red Mercedes,
keeping
it real with my homies and my ladies,
nobody
can touch my crew because all them cats
are
fraidies.
Them
St. Louis niggers ain’t got no class,
twitching
on the crack bust a cap in my ass.
They
rocking and shaken and frying up some
bacon,
but
if they think they know Sherman E then they
sadly
mistaken.
Gonna
POP that COP
C*cks*cker
m*therf*cker never make me STOP.
Bleed
the bitch out now shout now shout.
On
your knees on your knees, show you what it’s
’bout.
I’ll pull you a stunt, smoke my blunt Sherman E
don’t
Take
sh*t from some c*nt.
After
gasped comments by some baffled classmates following Jenks's reading,
the instructor, Morgan, “shuffled the stack of poems, stood
slowly. He turned, walked out the door. The students waited a minute,
looked at one another, but their professor didn’t come back.”
Other
characters of dubious interest include Dean Whittaker, interim chair
of the English Department, a bearlike man with “a big voice”,
whose dissertation had been on ladies' costuming in Elizabethan
theater and who wears lace panties despite their
considerable discomfort. And let's not overlook “Fred Jones”, the
geriatric gangster currently in a witness protection program, who
gifts the college with ten grand to keep its “third-rate literary
journal” afloat but with the understanding Morgan will read Jones's
voluminous portfolio of original poems. Of the slender selection of
poems Gischler provides us in The
Pistol Poets,
this, by Jones, is my favorite. It also won raucous approval from
the student body in a college-wide poetry slam. Jones called it The
Zydeco Gangster:
When
I came from Philly to the Big Easy in ’72
in
a baby blue Impala full of smack,
I
was already pushing gray around the ears.
And
I don’t move so quick no more,
and
the back gives me trouble,
and
the hands are kinkin’ up.
The
hands are key.
So
when the dagos hired me
to
work the Quarter,
I
got a big moulie shadow to do the bone work.
So
I went to hear his song
on
a humid night in some bayou sh*thole,
and
Che was huffin’ on the accordion,
and
another bony moulie
was
beating time on a washboard,
and
the shuffling, breathless racket
sounded
like the time we leaned on Tiny Allen
in
the homo bar
at
the rotten end of Bourbon.
So
I’m talking to Little Mike
on
the phone
with
Big Mike on the extension
and
they say everything is jake back in Philly.
I
try to explain the zydeco shakedown,
and
how it’s so different from
the
tearful, slow Pagliacci pleading
when
we’d bear down on the mark
like
a lumbering toilet-paper mummy
in
a Peter Cushing flick,
but
they don’t get it.
So
I ask Big Mike if he remembers the time
we
chopped down the glassblower over on Sullivan
the
brrrrpt da bript brip chingle chingle bript
when
we riddled his display cases with Mac-10s,
the
nine-millimeter percussion
the
tambourine tinkle of broken glass,
and
I think he’s starting to get zydeco.
And
we laughed and laughed
and
wondered if the Motor City fellas
do
it to Smokey Robinson.