Once upon All Hallows Eve, I'd just
ingested my Aleve,
Whence came a tapping at my door, a tap
tap tapping,
A damnably intrusive rapping tapping,
rappity dappity tapping...and nothing more.
Of course, I opened the goddamned door,
and there stood monsters, three or four.
Wee ones, they, bedecked in hideous
array as tiny ogres, I must say,
They held out baskets, expecting pay by
way of treats, or tricks they'd play.
I thought, OK, if that's the game we
play this day, you'll get your treat and then away
From here to stray no more to my front
door at this late hour as before.
In each ghoul's basket I therefore did
place an apple, which afore
A needle I'd embedded in its core, with hopes this
bother nevermore would come a'tapping at my door.
And yet next day to my dismay a rapping
sent my nap astray, two strapping cops led me away.
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